


We swapped our smiles

by ScottieisStressed (TeheheHoran)



Series: Just a memory, now [4]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternative Universe - Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies, Animal Death, Blushing Evan, Connor knows Korean, Evan has Anxiety, Evan likes noises, First Dates, Flirty Connor, Fond Connor, M/M, Nervousness, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Slight Hysteria, Smiling Boys, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, You heard me, but its fish soooo, feeding ducks, fighting lobsters, fish markets, in depth description of fish death, its finally happening, weird first dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeheheHoran/pseuds/ScottieisStressed
Summary: Evan was fretting, messing with his hair, combing his eyebrows, tugging his shirt every which way. Evan was fretting because he has a date, oh my god he has a date! A date with Connor Murphy. Evan has a date with Connor Murphy! Head Evan is probably dead, Evan should check on the little guy.‘Head Evan? You good?’ There’s no response. Apparently Head Evan has built himself a room and is hiding in it, he was kind enough to leave Evan a note though.‘If you mess this up I will kill us both. Let me be happy, give me a Head Connor please.’Well.





	We swapped our smiles

**Author's Note:**

> this is way longer that I planned it to be so that's why it took me so long. thank you for all your lovely comments so far, they warm my little gay heart! I try to respond to all of them but if I don't answer yours it's nothing personal I'm just busy. i know i tagged animal death but it's fish so I don't think it will be that big of a deal but I decided to tag anyways just in case.  
> all that aside I hope you're excited for my large knowledge of fish markets and very cute boys on a date!  
> p.s. google gaebul at your own risk, they look a lot like male genitalia and i don't want to scar anyone

“Feast, my children.” There was the sound of corn kernels pelting the water, followed by enthusiastic quacking.

“Connor…..,” Evan can’t even finish that sentence, so he just sighs and shakes his head. Connor is grinning smugly, knowing he’s thoroughly confused and annoyed Evan. The two of them were at the small pond at the park, feeding the ducks. It had been Evan’s idea, after seeing a post going viral online that said bread was bad for ducks. He had to pay reparations for years of feeding those gentle creatures the wrong food. Since the two boys arrived Connor had taken to calling all the ducks his children, much to the exasperation of the sandy haired boy. Evan was brought out of his thoughts by a loud quack coming from his feet. The big crested duck was impatient for food and started nipping at Evan’s jeans.

“Hey!” He jerked his leg away but the duck lunged at him again. He squealed and tossed a few kernels at the duck, luckily it distracted the duck and he was left alone. Connor was snickering as he hand fed a small mallard. Evan glared at him but crouched next to him anyways, desperate for some duck love. A few white ducks waddled up but stopped hesitantly, quacking nervously. 

“Come ‘ere, I won’t hurt you. C’mon,” Evan whispered soothingly to the ducks, making kissy noises. Eventually they came forward and nibbled at the corn in his hand, occasionally nipping his skin. 

“That one’s ugly,” Connor suddenly declared, nodding his head to the muscovy duck.

Evan gasped, offended for the duck. “Connor! I thought you said they were your children?” 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean my children can’t be ugly. He’s ugly,” Connor responded casually, but threw some corn to the duck nonetheless. Evan snorted and shook his head fondly, Connor sent him a dazzling smile. 

* * *

 

Evan was fretting, messing with his hair, combing his eyebrows, tugging his shirt every which way. Evan was fretting because he has a date, oh my god he has a date! A date with Connor Murphy. Evan has a date with Connor Murphy! Head Evan is probably dead, Evan should check on the little guy. 

_ ‘Head Evan? You good?’ _ There’s no response. Apparently Head Evan has built himself a room and is hiding in it, he was kind enough to leave Evan a note though.

_ ‘If you mess this up I will kill us both. Let me be happy, give me a Head Connor please.’ _

Well. 

Ignoring Head Evan’s panic momentarily, he thinks about how Connor asked him on this date. They were at the park and had just finished feeding the ducks. Connor had suggested they walk around the park a little and just talk, Evan indulged him. The two chatted about the typical things, school, tv shows and memes. There was a lapse in the conversation where they both just walked, Evan trying his best to hide how heavy he wanted to breathe. God he was out of shape. He was about to spout some random tree fact for the sake of conversation but Connor broke the silence. 

“Let's go on a date,” he declared, still staring straight forward with a lack of emotion on his face. Evan made stuttering, disbelieving sounds. Connor didn’t say or do anything, a blank slate, giving away no clues. 

Evan took a deep breath. “I um, sure. Yeah that would be nice.”

He took a deep breath.  _ ‘You can do this, You can do this. It’s only your first date ever with a boy, oh Jesus Christ what is mom gonna do? Do I tell her? Oh my God I didn’t tell her!’ _ Evan can’t do this, it’s too much. He’s so goddamn nervous, all his emotions are bubbling up, he can’t hold it in anymore. He hastily runs to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. He bends over, hands planted on the vanity, and screams. He screams and screams and maybe sobs a little bit. When he’s done there's tear drops on the counter and his face is red. He takes a few deep breaths, then he stands up straight and looks in the mirror. The whites of his eyes have turned red along with his nose, which is a bit swollen. 

Evan sighs and attempts to fix his hair, even though there’s nothing wrong with it. He takes in his appearance, a dark wash denim shirt and some light jeans. It’s a far stretch from his usual blue polos and dark straight cut jeans. He even managed to find a nice pair of boots at Goodwill, three dollars, what a steal. Connor told him to dress casual but he couldn’t manage to do that, he didn’t want to wear what he wore everyday. He just hopes he didn’t overdress. A buzz coming from his back pocket draws him from his thoughts, he pulls his phone out and sees a notification from Connor.

_ Conifer: you about ready? i’ve been sitting in your driveway too nervous to come knock _

Before Evan could panic about his total last of readiness another text came through.

_ Conifer: don't rush if you aren't. im early, too nervous _

Evan sighed in relief.

_ I’m almost ready, don’t worry about being early. It just means we’ll have more time together. :) _

Oh he hopes that wasn’t too forward. Slipping his phone back into with one hand he opens the drawer with the other, searching for his toothbrush. He grabs it and his toothpaste, wetting his brush and taking his time brushing his teeth. He doesn’t want to have bad breath on his date. His date, he can’t believe he just thought that. He’s going on a date, a date!

This time he screams for a whole other reason, excitement too much to contain. A huge grin breaks out over his face and he opens the door to the bathroom. He walks through the house, turning out lights and making sure windows are locked. He decides to leave a note on the counter for his mom just in case. 

Evan walks out his front door, double checking that it’s locked behind him before walking off the porch. His feet tap along the carport as he makes his way to Connor’s car, he opens the door and slides into the cool interior. Connor is staring at him.

Evan feels heat crawl up his spine and dump over his face, leaving him tingling, skin sensitive. “Hi,” he murmurs, smiling shying and wetting his lips. 

“Hi,” Connor responds, albeit a bit too loudly. The long haired boy laughs nervously, causing Evan to as well. They both sound a bit manic. 

The brunet speaks up. “You look good, really good.” Connor is red all over, from the tips of his ears to his clenching fingertips. Evan wiggles his toes is his boots, tapping them softly against the car floor.  _ Tip-tip-tap. _

“Thank you, you too.” It’s the truth, he does. Connor’s hair is pulled up in a bun, the ends of his hair sticking up where they weren't quite tucked in. Evan can see all the fuzzy fly aways, the light shining through the windshield in a golden blanket. He’s wearing a black tee shirt with cuffed sleeves, it looks so soft Evan wants to lay his head on Connor’s chest and listen to his heartbeat. In response Connor blows air through his nose and ducks his head, shaking it shyly.

“Nah….I uh, thank you.” Evan hums his reply, scratching the seam of his jeans. The car is growling beneath them and the cabin is filled with the soft  _ scritch-scritch _ of nails on denim. “Ready?” Connor asks, already reaching for the shift stick, moving it to reverse. Evan gives him a soft, “yeah,” and off they go. The taller boy pulling out of the driveway, throwing his arm around the back of Evan seat and twisting at the waist. He turns his head and backs up by looking out the back window, completely ignoring the use of mirrors. As they pull onto the road and leave the neighborhood, Evan remembers that Connor still hasn’t told them where they’re going. 

“So, what are we doing?” Connor winks at him.

“Surprise. The drive is about twenty minutes, so go ahead and get comfy. You can turn on music if you’d like.” Evan considered this new knowledge as he leaned over to turn on the radio. He flicked through the saved stations Connor had programmed and settled on the hip-hop station. Connor smiled at his choice and them both sat back, letting the music hurry the time along. 

* * *

 

Their car was held up in traffic, sitting at an intersection as cars inched along on both sides. Connor had one hand on the wheel, fingers tapping restlessly as he sighed. Evan was alert and watching the cars that were so close to him, traffic made him nervous.

“Wanna play the licence plate game?” 

“Huh?” Evan had never heard of that.

“Licence plate game, you see how many licence plates from different states you can find.”

“Isn’t that like an invasion of privacy? Looking at people’s licence plates?”

“They’re there for a reason Evan.”

“Oh, right.” Connor laughed at the boy and started scanning the cars.

“Texas,” he declared, pointing to a red truck up ahead.

“Really? Texas? Huh…..uhhh...oh! West Virginia.” Evan gestured to a white SUV to their right.

“Aye, way to go Ev. Let’s see….uhhh, there’s Alabama.”

“What’s with you and southern states?” Connor laughed at Evan’s statement but just told him to find another state. 

They managed to name twelve states before traffic cleared a bit and Connor pulled off the interstate. They took lots of back alley roads and soon Evan saw large warehouses as the street turned wet. For a moment Evan panicked and thought Connor had brought him to the port to kill him. That idea died as the car was jostled from some potholes as they pulled into a parking lot. The lines were so faded Evan could hardly tell where they were supposed to park. Connor however, knew because he pulled the car sharply into a spot, whipping the wheel to the right. Evan exclaimed a little, “AH!” in surprise. Connor smiled apologetically and murmured a sorry, turning off the car. They both stared at the sign overhead in silence until Evan cleared his throat and spoke.

“Uh, Connor. We’re at a fish market.”

The taller boy nodded and confirmed. “Yep.” 

“Like an actual fish market Connor. Look! There’s an actual flounder right there!”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for all of thirty seconds before Connor exploded. 

“We’re going on a date at a fish market, Evan. If you don’t like it we can leave I just thought...I don’t know  _ what _ I was thinking actually. I just wanted to be original and I thought you’d like to see all the fish. But now I’m thinking maybe not because they’re all dead. Oh my god I brought the boy I like to look at dead animals I’m awful. And you-”

“Connor.”

“Have anxiety and there’s a crowd what was I-”

“Connor.”

“Thinking! I’m so fucking stupid, I’ll take you home no-”

“Connor!”

“What!”

“I don’t care!”

“You don’t care! You- wait. You don’t care?”

“No,” Evan laughed at Connor’s shocked expression, “I don’t care. I don’t care that you brought me to a fish market. It’s cool….quirky. I just thought we’d go somewhere typical like a movie, but this is way better.”

Connor sounded amazed, staring at Evan in wonder. “It is?”

“It totally is,” Evan confirmed, reaching over to grab Connor’s hand. “Now go take me to see some fishies.” Connor smiled and laughed nervously, nodding his head ok and they both got out of the car. As soon as they stepped out Evan’s senses were flooded. There were all kinds of sight and smells, noises too. He stood in wonder until Connor came around the car, grabbing Evan’s limp hand and giving it a tug. Evan followed after Connor, feeling a bit overwhelmed but also excited. The market was full of stalls, each having their own owner and variety of seafood. The boys walked slowly along the wet floors and peered at brightly colored baskets that were submerged in tanks. Evan gaped at the flounder, pointing excitedly to the different sizes and colors. Connor smiled at him and showed him the red drum in the next tank, spouting out little facts about them as they walked along. 

Evan reluctantly let go of Connor’s hand to wander over to a stall where two hispanic men were working. A man in his twenties was sharpening a knife on a rock. The man swiftly rocked the blade back and forth on both sides, creating a  _ swish-scritch _ sound. Evan let the new sound envelop him as he stared at the rapidly moving blade. The sound of metal on rock made his ears tingle, it was almost like a sensation in itself. He’s drawn out of his trance at a new noise, the other man at the stall had started to descale a fish. Evan watches at the dark skinned man grabs a small wooden paddle that has short nails sticking down out of one end. The man lays the fish down, running the nails against the scales towards the head. They scales scrape off with a soft clicking sound and they flick away wildly.

“Wow,” he whispers in wonder which causes the man working to smile at him. Evan smiles back politely and continues to watch, letting the sounds fill his ears. Connor looks over to see Evan looking happily at a man descaling a fish, he smiles fondly and wanders over to the boy. He sets a soft hand on the shorter boy’s hip, causing him to startle a bit and look up at Connor.

“You enjoying yourself?” He asks teasingly, rubbing his thumb back and forth on Evan’s hip. Evan flushes but nods enthusiastically, looking like he wants to say something. Connor gives him a nudge and dips his head to speak into his ear. “Go ahead,” he encourages, Evan nods and turns to the man.

“Would you mind if I had some scales?” Well, that wasn’t what Connor expected. The man laughs delightfully and gives Evan the go ahead, saying he would just trash them anyways. Evan sweeps some of the large, wet scales into his hand before saying thank you. He turns excitedly to the taller boy and shows him all the scales, the different shapes and colors of each one. Connor listens to him, a fond smiles on his face. 

They wander around the market a bit more, the brunette keeping his hand around the sandy haired boy’s waist. Connor once suggests that if Evan saw anything he wanted they could figure out how to cook it or take it to one of the vendors that sold food and ask them to cook it. Evan said he’d keep an eye out for something, eyes scanning the rows of filleted fish sitting on ice. 

“Look, that one’s you,” Evan declared, pointing to a monkfish. Connor laughed at the insult. 

“Ok asshole, in that case that one’s you,” he retorted. Evan looked over at the wolf fish Connor was referencing; the long blue striped body and sharp teeth that stuck out made him scoff. 

“See that's not nice because it looks like the shirts I wear. I at least picked one that looked nothing like you,” he huffed. 

“Your shirts have fins and sharp teeth?” Connor quipped, shooting him a teasing smile.

“Oh shut up.” 

* * *

 

Connor was dragging Evan quickly through the market by the hand, laughing when Evan went around a corner sharply and slipped on the wet floor. Luckily Connor didn’t let him fall but Evan still shot him a glare as the taller boy took off again.

“Connor why are we running? What is it?” Evan inquired.

“It’s a surprise,” he explained, scanning the stalls and then heading in a different direction. 

“At this rate ‘it’s a surprise’ will be your senior quote,” Evan grumbles, letting himself be dragged every which way though the large market. After a few minutes of jogging they finally reach their destination. Connor stops abruptly, causing Evan to slam into his back and hit his nose on the taller boy’s shoulder blade. “Ouch!”

“Oops, my bad, you ok?” The brunette turned around and fretted, grabbing Evan’s face and turning it side to side looking for injuries. 

Evan batted his hands away gently, “Yeah I’m fine,” he peaked around his date’s shoulder and looked at the tank in front of him, “…...Connor.”

“Yeah?” The other boy asked.

“These are lobsters.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they’re fighting.”

“Great observation Ev, you’re full of those today,” Connor jested. Evan make an indignant squawking sound, heat rising to his cheeks.

“Stop bullying me,” he carped, Connor just smiled at him and gave a playful nudge.

“You know I love you,” Connor says fondly. 

Evan blushed even more, crossing his arms stubbornly. “Well you sure don’t act like it. Now why did you take me to a tank of fighting lobsters?” 

“Because it’s entertaining. Now go pick your lobster and we’ll see which one wins.”

He looked at Connor challengingly. “What do I get if I win?”

“I’ll buy pizza next time you come over so you don’t have to eat mom’s gross cooking.” Connor declares, looking expectantly at his date.

Evan shakes his head side to side, considering. “Fair enough. What if your lobster wins?”

Connor thinks for a minute, tapping his index finger on his chin. “Hmm...oh! You have to brush my hair and do that fancy braid. And you have to let me paint your nails.” Evan gives a dramatic, long suffering sigh, but smiles all the same.

“Fine, deal.” They shake on it, but Connor doesn’t let his hand go, threading his fingers through Evan’s. They stand close to the tank and look at all the available lobsters. Connor picks one that has huge claws, one antenna chopped off and is covered in barnacles. He deems it Murphy The Destroyer. Evan rolls his eyes and after a few minutes settles on a smaller lobster that waves it’s legs and antenna wildly as it scurries around the tank. It has a rubber band on its left claw. He’ll call it Aspen.

“Aspen?” Connor questions when he declares his pick.

“Aspen, like the tree,” he explains, still watching his little lobster run around.

“You nerd,” the brunette shakes his head ardently. Evan chooses to ignore him as he watches one fight end and the tank center clear. Connor cheers both the lobsters to the center, encouraging them to fight. The two eventually make their way the center, circling each other. Murphy has his claws open and lunges for Aspen’s antenna, trying to clip them.

“He’s fighting dirty!” Evan exclaims, hitting Connor on the arm lightly.

Connor looks at Evan and squawks.“Why are you hitting me? I didn’t tell him to do that!” Evan’s about to respond when Aspen reaches up with one claw deflecting the pinch and with the other hits Murphy’s head. Evan cheers him on. The two lobsters continue to fight for a few minutes, both Evan and Connor gasping and booing at appropriate moments. Soon enough Aspen becomes fatigued and stops offensive attacks, instead trying to defend himself. Evan hisses in nervousness and worries his lower lip, nipping at skin and drawing a little blood. Murphy notices this and opens both his claws, pushing against Aspen, back him out of the circle. Aspen’s legs flail as he gets tipped back, starting to fall over. 

Connor jumps up excitedly. “Oh!,” he exclaims, clenching his hands into fists and pumping them frantically. Murphy continues pushing until Aspen topples over, landing on his back with legs thrashing recklessly. Connor cheers, throwing his hands in the air. “Oh oh oh….yes! Ha!”

Evan buries his face in his hands in defeat. “Noooooo. Aspen what are you doing?” He exclaims exasperated, putting his hands on his hips and sighing. Beside him Connor is walking proudly in circles, hands still up and a vibrant smile on his face.  

“That’s it, that’s it Evan I win!”

“It’s not fair! Aspen has a rubber band on one claw.” Evan whines, kicking the ground grumpily. 

“You picked him though, knowing full well there were other lobsters.” Connor points out as Evan pouts and looks at Aspen disappointedly. 

“I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt,” he explains, sounding wistful. 

Connor’s eyes shine, full of admiration. “Evan you’re adorable.” Evan blanches in embarrassment, wringing his hands and refusing to look anywhere but his feet. Wow his shoes are so interesting, I mean look at that stitching. Thrilling. Connor gives him a nudge, he reluctantly looks up to see a soft smile gracing pale pink lips. The taller boy tilts his head invitingly, reaching out his hand. Evan delicately clasps his hand, watching black tipped fingers wrap around his palm.

Before long they’re standing at a stall run by a slight, wrinkled Korean lady and perusing the cod she has laid out on ice. She and Connor are conversing in a mix of Korean and English, laughing good naturedly and Evan tries to understand what they’re talking about. He catches something about school, his name and the lady asking about a boyfriend. He decides to stop eavesdropping after that and instead ponder the fact that Connor apparently knows some Korean. When did that happen? 

He goes back to looking at all the fish, not really knowing what makes a good fish, especially in cod. This is his first time ever seeing a cod, he doesn’t even think he knew what a cod  _ was _ before today.  _ ‘This is too stressful,’ _ he decides, looking to Connor in hopes that he can figure out which one they’re going to buy. He taps his forearm and asks for help, looking hopelessly at the scaled bodies laid out before the three of them. Connor hums and asks some questions to the vendor and she answers, gesturing to a few fish. She even picks one up and makes a small cut with a knife that she conjured out of nowhere, showing Connor the pale pink flesh. They trade a few more words before Connor picks a small fish, fit for a meal for two people. The lady smiles at him and drags the fish off the ice and onto a chopping block. 

She pulls out a butcher knife and goes towards the head before stopping; for a moment Evan is confused but then she looks up and makes eye contact with him and asks him in flawless English, “do you want the head?” Evan blanches, mouth gaping and intelligent sounds coming out. Thankfully Connor takes mercy on him and tells the woman no in a slightly scolding voice. Evan realizes he’s being teased again and is  _ this _ close to melting into a puddle of embarrassment and as much wrath as he can muster. 

The lady ignores Connor’s scolding and goes back to butchering the fish, she brings the knife down hard on the neck. It bangs loudly, getting stuck in bone and making Evan flinch. She then pulls a hammer out from under the counter and hits the knife until it severs the head. She sweeps it into a bucket with her hand and picks up another knife, going for the belly. Evan decides now is a good time to look away so he doesn’t see fish guts and lose his lunch. Ignoring the sound of the butchering going on behind the counter he walks a few steps to another section of the stall. In baskets sitting in a shallow tank the woman has clams, mussels, abalone and even sea urchins. He’s about to turn back and see if the fish is ready when he spots a small dish balanced on one of the baskets and gasps. 

His eyes widen in shock and he feels himself blush, he calls for Connor nervously, voice cracking. “Uhh, Connor?” The taller boy comes over to where he’s standing with a look of concern of his face.

“Are you ok Evan, need to leave? We can leave now, just say the word.” Evan shakes his head and clears his throat. He gapes like a fish for a moment before finding the words.

“What’s that?” Connor takes one look at the creature in the dish and burst into laughter. He tosses his head back and a few strands of hair slip loose from his bun, framing his face. He has a large hand splayed across his stomach as he bends at the waist, still cackling. Evan purses his lips in annoyance and kicks Connor’s foot lightly, blush growing more intense. Connor calms his laughter, taking gasping breaths and apologizing between chuckles. 

“Wooo, hoo ok. I’m sorry you just,” he barks another laugh, “looked so shocked and scared. Woo, oh god that was funny.” He sniff and wipes at the tears clinging to his lower lashes. Connor laughs out another breath before finally calming down. Evan taps his foot mock impatiently. Connor shakes his head and throws an arm around around Evan’s shoulder, pulling him close. “That, my dear Evan is gaebul. Or more commonly called, penis fish.” Evan looks at the creature again and turns red, it looks too much like a penis that he diverts his eyes to Connor’s grinning face.

“It looks disgusting,” he says quietly, not wanting to offend the lady running the stand. Connor nods his agreement.

“Yeah it is.”

“Wait, is? You’ve had it?” Connor does not respond, Evan gasps. “Connor you ate the penis fish?” He asks aghast. Now it’s Connor’s turn to blush, he clears his throat and starts herding them back towards the fish that has now been bagged and payed for. Evan tries very hard to not imagine Connor putting that between his lips, he can’t give Head Evan any ideas. 

* * *

 

They’re walking along the coast, holding disposable french fry baskets full of cooked cod and dried crab called kanikko. The waves are splashing soothingly against the rocky shore, and the moon and city lights reflect off the water, giving a beautiful display of colors. Salty air fills their lungs, cool night winds ruffle their hair and Evan doesn’t think he’s even been happier in his life. Connor is telling him how he started learning Korean after coming to the market to communicate better with the vendors, most of whom are Hispanic or Korean families. The lady who they bought the fish from, who Evan learned is named Chae-Won, took a liking to Connor and she offered to teach him Korean if he helped with her stand. Connor spoke of her fondly and said she was like a grandmother to him, he said the market was one of his favorite places to go next to the abandoned apple orchard. Evan listened attentively as he took bites of of the cod and kanikko, salt and sesame flavoring filling his mouth and making it water. Connor finished his story and they walked in silence, eating their fill of food. Evan watches his feet tread over the planks of wood that make up the dock they’ve decided to walk down. The bottoms of his shoes click against the rotting wood that occasionally groans under their combined pressure. 

Once they make it to the end of dock Evan sets aside his empty basket, careful to make sure it won’t blow away or fall into the water. Connor leans on the railing, draping his arms over the edge and Evan copies him, close enough that their arms press together. He can feel their body seep together and it sends a trill up his spine. They stand in companionable silence but Evan’s mind is running a mile a minute.  _ ‘Is this awkward? Should I speak? Does he even want to talk? Should I stay quiet and wait for him to talk first? What if he’s waiting for me to talk and thinks I’m weird because I’m just standing silently staring at the bay?’ _ He shoots a glance at Connor to see that the boy is also staring off into the distance, picking at his fingernails distractedly. _ ‘Ok so maybe he wants to not talk, I wonder what he’s thinking about. Oh no what if he’s thinking about how to tell me he doesn’t want to go on another date? What if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? I bet he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, I mean I asked that man for fish scales, who does that? What do I do if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? Jared will laugh at me and Zoe will stop talking to me since she’ll see Connor doesn’t like me. Oh and Alana will pity me, or worse! She’ll hate me because Zoe doesn’t like me anymore! Oh god what do I do? How can I salvage this? Can I even salvage this?’  _

Connor disrupts his thought by breaking the silence, “you’re thinking too loud again.”

“Sorry.” Evan responds on instinct, kicking himself for getting lost in his panic.

“Don’t apologize,” Connor shifts and turns to face Evan, still leaning on the rail. “Now come on, out with it. What’s bugging you?” Evan doesn’t answer, he just chews on the inside of his mouth and tries to think of an appropriate response. Connor waits patiently on him to figure it out. Evan figures there’s no good way to explain his thoughts without making a fool of himself so he just shrugs instead. “Can I take a shot at figuring out what’s bothering you?” Connor asks, he takes the lack of response as a yes. “I think you’re stressing because you think you’ve messed up, which is absolutely not true by the way. You’re worried I hate you and I won’t want to talk to you anymore even though we’ve established that I love you and I would never up and leave you. I’m in it for the long haul Ev, issues and all. I’m pretty spot on aren’t I?” Connor doesn’t sound smug at all, just tender and sweet, Evan nods. “Well let me tell you a little something that ought to calm your nerves. I think this is the best date I’ve even been on,” Evan scoffs quietly, “no really listen. You got all dressed up, looking like a million bucks just for me. No one’s ever done that for me, you look beautiful, and you look beautiful every day too. You’re so cute in all your polos and stirpped shirts, blue suits you, it really does. You let me hold your hand and you didn’t freak out even though I brought you to a goddamn fish market of all places in the world. Hell I made you bet on fighting lobsters! Who in their right mind does that?” Evan giggles a little and looks to see Connor is grinning at him as well. 

He steps closer to the taller boy, staring him in the eyes. All of a sudden he really hopes Connor will kiss him. His own thought makes him gasp a little and flicker his eyes to his date’s lips which shine a in the evening light. He takes a deep breath before gathering the courage to speak. “Will you kiss me?” He breathes. 

“Do you want me to?” Is Connor’s whispered response.

“Yes,” Evan is dizzy and breathless. His head is spinning as he stares at Connor’s backlit face, the harsh lighting makes him look ethereal in the darkness. 

“Ok,” Connor answers but neither of them move, instead they let their breaths mingle at the close proximity. Evan can see the nervousness in Connor’s eyes and can only imagine what his own look like, he counts the individual lashes that make wispy shadows on pale cheek bones. Connor opens his mouth like he’s going to say something and Evan fears it will be rejection so he acts before he can think. He closes his eyes and surges forward, lips connecting not so gently with Connor’s. As soon as the delicate skin touches a wave of emotion like no other washed over him, causing him to gasp into the kiss. Connor makes a surprised sound, huffing against Evan’s lips as he moves his hands to the shorter boy’s hips. Evan brings his hands up to Connor’s shoulders and tangles his fingers in the fabric of his shirt. Hesitantly, Evan moves his lips a little and Connor responds enthusiastically, tightening his hands on Evans hips. Evan lets Connor lead, seeing as he’s never kissed anyone before and doesn’t want to make a fool of himself. 

Their lips move against each other, soft and chapped skin sliding together. Evan pokes his tongue out, testing to see if he’s doing the right thing. Connor makes a happy sound and does the same, soon their lips are slick with spit and Evan’s skin is alight with tingles and warmth. Connor tastes like salt and something uniquely sweet that he can’t get enough of. They kiss until Evan is breathless and too overwhelmed to keep his lips moving. He slowly pulls away and Connor makes a sad sound, chasing his lips and giving small pecks until he finally pulls away. They breathe heavily, forehead pressed together and noses touching, the sound of waves enveloping him in their own private world. 

“Be my boyfriend,” Connor breathes, leaning back to look at Evan fully. His eyes are full life and love, it makes Evan’s eyes water and he pants wontoningly. Connor is looking at him desperately, how could he ever deny this boy anything. He nods violently and whispers to him.

“Yes, yes. Yes Connor a thousand times yes,” he says it like a prayer of a dying man, hungering for something unfathomable. Connor kisses him again and he lets him. They stay like that for what seems like forever, they kiss under the moon and stars, the waves sing them a love song like no other and Evan thinks this is what he was meant to live for. 

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy this? Leave kudos and comments, they make me very happy and inspire me to write. Want more? Be sure to read the other works in this series and get to know the tree bros and Head Evan.  
> you can follow me on tumblr @scottieisstressed if you want to see me be gay, shitpost and obsess over various things


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